Playing my violin in a park for the first time this year

Today was weird and hard. Playing in an open space is so different than the comfort of Vanessa. This wide open park with plenty of people walking through, but very few walking by.

I played quietly for fear of disturbance. I felt my technical classical pieces were too high class …

Chickies Rock County Park PA

After leaving my grandmother I stopped at the Susquehanna River for the sunset. Here I went exploring a bit, played my violin and chatted with a couple people.

One was a mid twenties man studying for a nursing program who enjoyed my music and started a chat. From Iraq originally …

Loving extended family

I am lucky. Very luck I feel. The beginning of my trip has had me visting three different types of extended family. Aunt/Uncle, Cousin and Grandmother. They are all very kind towards me and don't care one bit about my transition.

I remember growing up feeling afraid of all …

Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania

I went to see trains with my grandmother! What a cool place. I do wish I had much more time to go over everything as I am learning I really like to soak in this stuff.

A sample of some of my cousin's amazing art

My cousin is amazing. She spends a lot of time making art. I just had to take some pictures to remember her, our time together, and how wonderful they are. Take a look

End of my first visit

I feel pretty good about my first visit. I very quickly purged technology from my mind and focused on the person I was with. We went out for a short hike at the Deleware Water Gap, ate ice cream and watched a tv show, and spent time at the library …

Tappan Zee Bridge NJ [set]

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Finally Fall - Leaving MA once again

I am waking up in Connecticut. I don't have much going on in my head or heart. I am ready. I am moving. And I have a plan for where to go and when.

I am eager to get to get to warmer weather and feel more comfortable about showering …

Kitchen Update for Vanessa: part 2

Wow. I am so pumped about the kitchen update to Vanessa. I still have things to finish up, but all the hard part, which I needed help from others, is done! Life is different now that this is complete.

Take a look!

Finding another surge of expression

There is someone new I met at my group a few months ago. We finally started hanging out right before I leave and she did a wonderful thing for me.

She regifted me clothing that did not fit her. I've always struggled with clothing. I hated all forms of expression …

I did my shot "the right way"!

Okay so, last August I fucked up my shot and got scared. From then on I have been bad at giving myself a shot. With the help of my friend over the last two months I was finally able to give myself a shot, alone, the right way, without anxiety or undo stress! Huge deal for me


Lunch with an old friend

I am so lucky. To have so many people in my life still willing to catch up with me even after I've transitioned. This friend goes back to 2010 when I was in my darkest. Working with the greatest team of people I ever worked with while I couldn't truly …

Talking with a stranger led to a disappointing sexual dismissal

Walking back to Vanessa from the liquor store, someone with a deep voice said something from behind. I look back. A black man with facial hair, thin, six feet tall with a hoody and a bag from the same liquor store was a few feet away from me.


You …