Loving extended family

I am lucky. Very luck I feel. The beginning of my trip has had me visting three different types of extended family. Aunt/Uncle, Cousin and Grandmother. They are all very kind towards me and don't care one bit about my transition.

I remember growing up feeling afraid of all my extended family. There was some light bullying from a few of them, but mostly I was just so afraid fo be myself around them because I felt I didn't really know them. Couple that with how strongly I tended to be an observer and I didn't develop much with my extended family.

Thankfully I am getting the opportunity to meet them, seemingly for the first time, and they've all been wonderful. Instead of feeling trapped in my past, I feel welcomed in the present. I get to see who they all really are, and get to recover further through their generosity.

The aunt and uncle I visited last week were, honestly, a scarier visit at first. While I had seen them for an afternoon this summer I have very few experiences with them. MY fears were mostly based off an old memory of fourth of july about 20 years ago. They were fun people, but also more wild than I was familiar with. Fireworks in the backyard and drinking, and my accidental jello shot just left me feeling guilty and afraid. While they are more energetic, fun people, they are nice as can be, understanding, and easy to be around. And sadly I didn't get to experience that growing up.

My grandmother is another one that surprised me. And I think I should jsut be learning that all my extended family are going to surprise me haha. She is a wonderful person who has been kind and udnerstanding, wise and with a "real" persepctive on life. Something I experience inside my communities is a very intense idealistic progressive persepctive that, I feel, often doesn't take into account the reality of today. My grandmother can see both sides of it. And in that, has a very awesome perspective. Notably, I went swimming with her. I wore a new bathing suit and went into a women's locker room for the first time. I felt very lucky and comfortable thanks to her.

The meaning of support from extended family

I know so many trans people who lose a lot of family when they come out. We are taught that family sticks together. And when they don't it hurts real bad. This is why many in the trans community have learned to build chosen families. This is harder still mostly because we are taught that family is somehow better.

HAving extended family support a trans person is huge.

For me, it has helped me marry my past life with my current life. I can slowly reintegrate my old memories into the person I am today. I feel less ashamed about my past. I accept myself more today.

It is possible to finish life without this but it feels pretty darn good to have it.

Now if only I can finish this all up and be a better family member to them.