Lunch with an old friend

I am so lucky. To have so many people in my life still willing to catch up with me even after I've transitioned. This friend goes back to 2010 when I was in my darkest. Working with the greatest team of people I ever worked with while I couldn't truly enjoy them the way I could now.

What I want to write about from this interaction is about my party. I had mentioned I had a going away gathering with people from my support group. I described the setting. Frisbee, bubbles, chalk and sunset. His response was "That's a Luna party of I ever heard of one". Well, he said something like that.

I had such a rush of nostalgia, klexos. Ramming old memories into today. See, back then I used to do a lot more bubbles. All kidns of bubbles. Colored, smelly, big, small, huge. I made my own solutions and generally enjoyed bubbles a lot. I also played around with other toys for parties like lasers with patterns, sand that glowed (discontinued 😭), frisbees. Having these activities was a way for me to displace my anxieties in groups of people so I could focus on an activity and not the people.

Today, I am using these same devices to engage people, bring something more to the experience than the same old, and hopefully remind people how to have childlike fun in this chaotic world.

It is so wild to me how different I am, yet the same. Realizing how much this old friend of mine knows about me isn't moot because of my transition. I am unashamed to be who I am now. All the same things I Wished to bring people back then I still want to bring to people now. It is okay that this is who I am. Not everyone will want need or like I am this way and that is fine. We need all kinds in this world. I can be this goofy hopeful idealistic inspirational nutball.

I really want to point out just how important people like this old friend are for someone like me. Someone who was so repressed, who hid their true self so greatly, who needs to change more about their life than we think others will be comfortable with. To have people from before willing to be around after. People who can help me marry that past life with today's life. Resolution with myself. IT is huge. And it means a lot.