I have a cousin who is struggling with behavioral/mental health issues. We had been off and on close over the years. Seemingly, I am the only person in this family who cares enough to make an effort. Not that it's surprising.
Given our limited interactions I can't say for …
I had an intense experience with an amazing girl last year. We had a lot of common ground but we were distant and built something over the phone. I know it was risky, but I couldn't help myself.
When we finally got face to face we both shriveled in fear …
The day of the eclipse. Only hours away. I figured I need to let out the part of me I've been hiding.
I have been in more pain, hiding more, feeling worse, for days. I lie in bed hours at a time drooling over the dream of being healthy again.
I wish I could lift and move the bench seats on my own in the basement to take photos of them so …
Alike my depersonalization, many of my dreams are the same as awake. I rarely am the dream or dreamer, but watching the dream.
And last night, I dreamt of how incapable I am of being me when social interactions are not temporal. If there is a chance they may not …
Full disclosure here. I have been on very few dates in my life. Today, meeting with a total stranger for a walk in the woods I found myself in places I've never been before.
This evening I went to a house with my friends where drinking was involved. This was the first time in years that I had been in a setting where heavy drinking was involved. It was weird.
I know I am not sharing interesting words other than my inner thoughts. Which suddenly struck me as being way over the top. But it seems I have acquired the habit so I keep doing it. So I shall label this a writing instead. Whatever. It has more depth than the contents of my day.
I sit here, actually into tomorrow around 4am. Mulling over the people I've met these last three months. How quickly I have changed with each passing day. I can see my instability diminishing, and my uncertainty rising.
