How much do you have to let go?

I had an intense experience with an amazing girl last year. We had a lot of common ground but we were distant and built something over the phone. I know it was risky, but I couldn't help myself.

When we finally got face to face we both shriveled in fear/shame. I had acquired my van to go kill myself and she knew this. But her own fear seemed to make her forget this. He own fears likely came from feeling like she didn't deserve love. But I can't really know her side until she tells me.

I am writing this because everyone tells me to fucking "let go" of her and stop thinking about her. To never try and reach out ever again. And I think that's fucking bullshit. I think it's a symptom of this fucked up culture and I don't believe it's the only or best "healthy" way to deal.

She did say before I left that she's the kind of person who would still be your friend after ten years. I don't think we hurt each other irreparably. I do think that we both really liked each other. But we were both still in the depths of our struggles.

I have already let go of any hope or expectation of intimacy, physical or emotional. But I do think the value of us meeting up again at some point would be more valuable to me and her than us never communicating again. Maybe it's some kind of closure I'm looking for.

Maybe it's still too early. And that's why she won't message me back. But her lack of action alone does not tell me she never wants to hear from me again. In fact it says the opposite; given our circumstance.

All I know, is that every time I am in the area, I will reach out and see what happens. Likely that's this winter on the way back north. Maybe I'm just unwilling to let go completely until I am explicitly told as such. Is that wrong?