A great deal of my life is trapped in orbit around the idea of recovery and healing from trauma, life. I hope you find inspiring words here.
Look. I know this experience is fucking horrifying. I lived it most of my life. And for at least half of it I just wished I was dead, tried a couple times, and the only real progress I ever made in my life was when I thought "If I'm just …
"If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it is not your path. Your own path you make, with every step you take. That is why it is your path." - Joseph Campbell
Not to be confused with the path you envision …
Priorities. This morning I am surrounded. Their chattering cackle drowning me in cacophony. The din begging me to answer the question: Who are you?
It is time I find anger again. I hate to say it. And I hate anger. I don't like it, I don't like feeling it, and I have been pretty good at not needing it for a long time.
I have known for some time I need anger. For years …
"What is real?" Asked the Rabbit one day, when they were sitting side by side near the nursery, before Nana came to today the room. "Does it mean having thoughts that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made" said the Skin Horse. "It's a …
This is a mess of a writing. I have been talking with others about dissociation. And I have been paying more attention to the role it plays in my life.
I am leaving Massachusetts again. For many reasons I now live in a van and stay where it is warm. This should be the first year I am able to spend the entire winter in the south, ideally never touching cold weather at all. I am very excited to get …
Context is everything. Context is the distance between everything.
Right now you have a certain way of framing the world, a certain perception of how everything works, a certain window if you will, on the world. This is your context. Everyone has their own context. Their own window on the …
On the internet, someone asked about how to stop obsessive thoughts and I went on a rant. So I figured I would share the outcome here. Sure some of it is repeat, but always a new way of saying the same thing.
Today I am feeling just how heavy all the important things are in life. The responsibility I could take on should I choose to. And this is a good feeling.
When I am at my happiest it seems I am eager to take on the responsibilities of life. I am …
After 29 years of life I finally became real. In my one year of realness I have changed significantly, some ways desirable, many ways I'm still horrified of. I wanted to share some thoughts on how my long term depersonalization has impacted my entrance into reality.
First and foremost I …
Saturday was the day. I had a party where I invited some people close to me to come out and play in a park by the ocean. It was easier than I expected to have them all in the same place. Unfortunately some of the people I really wish were …
I awoke from something awkward and awful. Half past five in the morning is a lovely time to be filled with dread and unknowing.
I envisioned my behavior at my last job as toxic. I wanted to be a good monkey, but I failed. Then I found my way inside …
