Will I ever find someone I can be me with?

Lol. I can see in this moment how others see I'm hidden and know what's inside is captivation. What I let out already is. And how lucky they feel when I open up, or if I happen to feel something strong for you. I can see some of the ways I'm different.

I think something that's always bothered me is the disproportionate number of people who like me versus me liking them. And I mean romantically/sexually. Few people have captured my heart.I don't even know what it takes to do so.

Is this normal? What percentile am I in?

Not withstanding that the people I immediately connect with scare the crap out of me. And it's always girls. Gotta love the whole "do I like her or want to be her" thread of being a trans woman.

My hope for now is that being in Vanessa will bring me forward in the directions I want. But recently I've been worried it isn't.

Bucket list item: Have a emotionally and physically significant relationship with another human