I have come farther than I give myself credit

Amidst writing a post on reddit seeking help for reducing shame, I realized I would not get anything new from it. I have everything I need to keep revealing myself. I need to push myself and act.

As I learned deeply from my strict violin teacher growing up, you will never be perfect. But unlike her, I do not believe we have to aim for perfect. Her effect, and the effect of most others in my life taught me I should aim for perfect. What I found is that always aiming for perfect will shroud you from the progress you've made.

I have:

• Stopped working in an industry that suffocated me
• Came out, and began HRT
• Pushed myself to squelch most of my anxiety
• Fought through my dysphoria enough to blend in most of the time
• Created a female voice which people compliment
• Bought a van, converted it enough to live in
• Reignited my affair with the violin
• Found a very real sense of living as a women, despite still fearing my femininity

I began this journey from a deeply dark place. I have lifted myself out quite far considering. I must find ways to never forget this.

I will never quit. I will allow myself to be fully human and experience life. I will fight until life kills me.