You own your knowledge

If you are struggling and feel stuck, google "how to get unstuck". If you feel like you cannot change but wish to, google "how to change". If you need something in your life, simply learning ANYTHING about that subject is going to make a large difference.

Within our perfectionism and fears we can find many reasons to keep ourselves stifled. Away from progress and hope. I've always found my fear of "learning something bad" as a detractor from my education. I feared I might pick up something damaging and unhealthy. Unfortunately you may, and you may need to take some thing you learn and push them to the side to make way for better, more accurate, or more helpful learnings. And that is okay.

If anything, history, anthropology, psychology, science are all good examples where we keep learning new things, fixing old conclusions, and thus needing to cast out old understandings to integrate new ones. Science especially aims to encourage the acceptance of being wrong. So be wrong sometimes!

Changing myself

When I first began my journey of active survival I asked myself "What is change? How does it work? How can I change?" This spun me off on the creation of a metaphor for how changes, spending waking time watching change around me, and doing my very best to create some code that may help me change given what I know about myself.

It is amazing how this time investment has impacted me. Looking back on the four years or so I have had this information in me, I have changed greatly, astonishingly. I feel the undercurrent of this information help guide me towards calming confluence of epiphany. (eh I know).

In short, I learned about habit training and how important tipping points are, while accepting "two steps forward one step back" as sacred. I exposed in myself the habits I detested. I grew to enjoy the process of fighting myself to be something better than I am. I learned that there is no shame in experimentation. To try something new will show you a new interest, or bring you a step closer to one.

Which brings us to masturbation

Someone once told me that what I am about to share with you is called philosophical masturbation, in the abstract sense. I can't tell you much more than that other than my interpretation of what she meant as a google search doesn't reveal much.

I believe she meant that this kind of thinking: "If you want to change learn anything about change", doesn't answer anything. It is so raw and abstract it doesn't do anything.

But I hope it inspires. You own your knowledge. You own what you put your mind in front of, and whether you invest your time.

Today I found myself agitated because I would love to learn car mechanics, lockpicking, Buddhist philosophies, martial arts, combat survival, manipulative arts, garment making, makeup, etc... But I don't have all that time! I have to pick and choose who I will become through my education.

But mostly, I want to be strong

I want the strength to stop wasting my time. I want the stability of mind to focus on the world I want to create. I want enough selfish nature to go after what I want. I want the self-worth to stand my ground with those I want in my life.

And I know, for me, I need to conquer my pain first in order to do that.

What do you need to conquer first?