Been letting myself feel too depressed lately.

For the better part of a month now I have been rather depressed. Rightly so. I did a big thing and put myself in a band new frame of mind. It's scary. But I have been feeding some of the negative thoughts too much for too long. It is so hard to track time when days are nightmares, sleep is escape, and the concept of a week no longer applies.

I will do better to keep myself away from believing these bad thoughts. It may seem like my life is going half speed right now, but I'll get through it. Right? Would it be okay if I didn't though?

With her hand on the belt,
she crossed the threshold,
a pin told her otherwise.

The door installed crooked.
Forever on her mind.

Today I tried to work on Vanessa. I was cutting up a cardboard cutout for a window so I would be less worried about knocking it while I slept. The fabric kept shifting on me. I didn't spend long on it before I dislodged a rib and had to stop. After lying down I took a shower. After the shower I took a long nap. And now I'm still lying down, trapped in bed hoping I can sleep soon. Fucking fuck.