Is Vanessa dead?

I got word from my mechanic about my brake fluid leak. It is catastrophic. Vanessa needs over $4,000 of repairs. I only got one year and three months out of her. Not the two I had hoped for.

I can hardly process this right now. I feel it's over. I don't think I've mentioned this, and I feel I shouldn't, but I have applied for disability. I am expecting a hearing sometime this winter. What will I do until then? To be stuck in my old car, in my old life, in my childhood house.

So as of now I need wheel bearings repacked, an outer tie rod, and new brake lines, load sensing valve and load sensing link. All critical things for safety. I cannot go on without repairing these things.

I will never have this money. And even if people in my life want to pay for it I don't think I could accept. How could I. I have already been given so much. If I am awarded disability, I can wait until I save up my own money to fix or replace Vanessa.

Let's see.