Risk Therapy: Asking for exactly what I want

I suck at asking for exactly what I want. Generaly my psychology says I do not deserve what I want. After all I am a disgusting tranny who is merely allowed to live for fear of imprisonment.

Today I told my myofascial therapist exactly what I wanted him to do. But I actually failed at it. I tried to tell him, but I was not blunt enough about it. I felt myself feeling dejected internally despite acting chipper on the outside. I still got great benefit from the session but I feel like I failed.

I think a reason I was not blunt enough was because I was afriad of being let down. I wanted to ask him to do a thing he did months ago. And I fear if he did it again it would not feel as good. IF I don't ask, I can't be let down, right?

Right.