Will I keep this name forever?

I am faced with a government paperwork issue that will be much easier if I change my name legally. Another one of the issues I have been avoiding for my transition. So what should I do about it?

I picked the name Luna Inanis Umbra three years ago. It came to me shortly after I remembered the meaning behind the tattoo on my hand. At the time I still felt unreal. I did not feel I was "allowed" to pick a name for myself. So I picked something symbolic so I had some complex deep answer to why that name. OTherwise I might end up picking a name because I, shock "liked it". That was not okay. Since I have a love of latin, it was pretty simple to translate into something.

I always figured I wouldn't change it legally for a while because if I become real, I may not need the name anymore. And here I am, real for over a year, and I still am okay with it. But will I feel that way in another year, or five? That I don't know.

Moving foward

So I am stuck now thinking about how everything will be easier if I change my name, trying to decide what to do. Do I deal with my birth name on my future documents and try to change it all again later? Do I alter my chosen name to be more positive than dark? Do I choose a completely new name?

One friend suggested I could change the middle and last name to something other than Inanis Umbra. Those two are the dark parts of the name. Others seem to like Luna as a first name for me. And for the most part I like it too. I have gotten some very nice metaphor from people that are rooted in understanding my relationship to the moon. So maybe brightening the rest of the name is okay.

But maybe I shouldn't be such a floof and just pick some simple girl name, change my middle name like I had originally planned with my mother, and just get it over with. Sometimes I go by Vanessa at places that ask for your name because sometimes people mess up Luna. Or maybe I pick a name with the first letter of my birth name so I can keep the same initials. Or maybe I change some of it. Fuck I don't know.

I feel I need to make a decision soon. Every week I delay, the longer the paperwork will take.

Sucks having to pick your name

I know so many trans people who have had to pick a name, and I must say, it is much easier when your birth name is just fine. Ugh.