Hanging Rock Raptor Observatory

This place is incredible. On the Appalachian trail, a small wood hut sits atop a spine with a full view of the area. A continent of clouds rolls lazily across the sky. The sun eager to say hi with us, it's tendrils gripping the ground. A blue green haze sits atop the endless view. Such a pastel wonder, my eyes could not say no. The valleys so clearly defined. The plowed fields appearing as spots on an animals hide. The only sound was the wind. And what a wind it was.

I gawked at this scene for nearly an hour, watching the sun set, the clouds roll, the hues shift and fade to darkness. I was reminded of my skydiving days. This high up we certainly could have been in our parachute descending. I didn't want to leave. My cell phone battery had died while taking my first picture. Doh! and my instant camera only had two photos left so I reserved them for the selfie. But oh how I wish I had that view to hold on to.

In the visitor's log, I wrote down

I am finally no longer suicidal

Can you believe it! I have wanted to die, be dead, or kill myself for over fifteen years. I tried a couple times. I stripped myself clean of my humanity. I buried myself, my self worth, my worthiness, under a garbage dump of societal expectations and fear.

What is going to happen to me now?